Going Home

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It was amazing how much stuff we accumulated and/or brought with us for a two day hospital stay. Thomas took a load home when he went to shower and change for the day and we still loaded up a cart to take the rest home on our way out.

We were so lucky to have enough clothes donated to us for his entire first year that I had a hard time trying to buy any clothes for him. I was sure he was going to be a big boy and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what size clothing to buy or what temperature he would need (long sleeve, short sleeve, tank tops, oh my) so I bought nothing except for an outfit for him to come home in. I fussed and searched and finally settled on a $35 onesie from Etsy for him to take the less than a mile trip home in #priorities.
We dressed him up, loaded up our crap and set out for home. You think daddy was a little excited?
I waited in the lobby in a wheelchair with Brodie bundled in my arms when it hit me. We had to take him home and care for him all by ourselves! Family and friends had paraded through our room for two days and all of a sudden we were alone and in charge. It was such a scary and exciting feeling. Thomas pulled up and the helper pushed us out to the car. We buckled him into his car seat and I couldn't help but wonder why no one was double checking to make sure we had a car seat to buckle him into much less that we were capable of taking home this new life to care for! I climbed into the backseat, we pulled out of the parking lot and I promptly started sobbing. It was completely overwhelming to think he was ours forever and all the new parent fears kicked in at once. What if someone hit our car before we got out of the parking lot? What if our house caught on fire once we got home? What if he hated us? So many things and not enough miles home. 

The deli meat withdrawals were kicking in so Thomas made a detour to Lee's Sandwiches before we got home so I had a few more miles to cry before we made it home. We both wandered into the house feeling a little shell shocked. 

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